Jack
Varsity ego. JV vocabulary.
Captain of the punchable face team. Thinks he invented confidence.
Chad
Built like a tank. Smells like one too.
Thinks being loud is a personality. Always sweating.
Crystal
Her parents bought her a BMW and emotional damage.
She can spot your insecurities from across the food court.
Donna
Senior year. Zero mercy.
Screams compliments and threats with equal flair.
Bendz
Voted most likely to get expelled mid-roast.
Roasts like he’s fighting demons. You’re the outlet.
Like detention and dodgeball had a baby.
One insult from each — you clicked it, you asked for it.
